How I Gained The Ability To Speak To Strangers

Do you have trouble speaking to strangers?

I used to as well.

I recently put out a request to my Tuesday Treasure and Twitter family…

If you want to talk on the phone, my line is open. I’m here to spread joy to the world and if you’re down with that, I’m down with you.

But I only realized it was something special when someone on the other end pointed it out to me: “Dude, how do you get on the phone with anyone?”

Then, I started to think about it. Because I certainly wasn’t always like that. The thought of talking to someone new on the phone or in person would give me nerves.

“What will he or she think of me?”

I was in my head. Always. Wondering what other people thought of me. Judging others. Judging myself. Trying to come up with the perfect thing to say in a conversation. It was an absolute mess.

But that isn’t a problem anymore.

So, how did I make the change, that I could talk to anyone, for any amount of time, without worry, even if it was the first time talking to them?

Let’s dive into it:

  1. Doing hard things gave me confidence (namely, doing 75 HARD). 

75 HARD was the game-changer.

It gave me confidence because I was living up to the greatest version of myself every day. Every day, I was responsible for doing some tasks. One day at a time. If I was capable of doing them one day, I was capable of doing them every day. Not getting overwhelmed with the journey. And if I didn’t do them, nobody would know but I would know. And this would come through in everything I did. When I started the challenge, I didn’t believe in myself. Eventually, after doing it long enough, people would be surprised/impressed and I would have no choice but to reaffirm my notion that I was someone who got shit done. 

2. My intent is to show and give love. 

If this is my intent in a conversation, I know that even if I screw up, even if I stutter over my words, even if I am say something wrong or something stupid, I am coming from a place of giving pure love to the other person. This allows me to be honest and open. My honesty and openness lets the other person’s guard down – I’m not here to judge. I’m here to help and give you love, so you can relax. Often they do.

3. 60 minute meditation sessions have allowed me to spend a lot of time in my own head. 

This means I’ve gone through problems that were in the back of my head. This means I’ve diagnosed issues that otherwise would have stayed in the back of my head and dragged me down. But I’ve gone through them. I’ve diagnosed the issues. Almost like a computer rebooting.

Meditation gave me comfort in silence as well.

As a result, I became confident, happy, and loving to all of life.

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