How To Get Others To Do What You Want Them To Do

Have you ever noticed it’s hard to force someone to do something?

If someone orders you to drink water, you resist. But if someone leads you to the stream, you think to yourself, “Might as well have some water.”

People often want to get their loved ones to workout or to read or to meditate.

So here are a few ways you can convince others to do what you want them to:

Be the example. It’s hard to convince someone to do something. It’s easier to show them with your actions.

Be kind, compassionate, and open-minded. People who are kind, compassionate, and open-minded have a higher likelihood of getting people to do what they want. Because they’re coming at the problem on the same team as you as opposed to an enemy.

Be a good listener. If someone listens to us, we feel understood. We want to help those who listen to us. And if you can listen to others well, people will more likely follow your suggestions.

Ask, not tell. Telling someone what they should do is the quickest way to get them to not do what you want them to do. So instead ask or suggest. There are many ways to frame the question. Start your question with “Would it trouble you…” or “Is there any chance you could…” This lets the person know you’re thinking of their feelings. In the end, we all really care about our own feelings first.

Avoid the word “should.” There’s nothing we recoil at faster than someone telling us how we should live our lives. We stop listening when people think they have a better idea than us. (Example: “Have you considered…” instead of “You should…”)

Make it easy. Our environments play a critical role in what we do. So, in order to get someone to do what you want, get them in the environment you want them in. Then ask. (Example: If you want someone to do the dishes, don’t ask them while they’re laying in bed. It seems like too much effort. Instead, ask them to do the dishes while they’re in the kitchen.)

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