Today, I turn 25.

When I was 15, I figured I’d have a lot figured out by 25.

Here’s a shocker: I was wrong. Buuuut just because I have a lot to learn doesn’t mean I can’t share what I believe the truth to be at this present moment.

I’m sure my views will change. I’m sure I have some severe blind spots. I’m sure I will learn a lot more about this thing called life (we can only hope, right?). But for now, I will share some of the lessons I’ve learned. If they are useful in any way to you, feel free to email me and let me know what resonated at my name {at} this domain.

1. Love. If there’s one lesson you get from this entire post, let it be to love. Love yourself. Love your enemy. Love your friend. Love your lover. Love everything. Not just the people, but the world we live in, the setbacks you endure, the massive wins, and the emotions you feel. I know it may sound too simple and I didn’t believe love could make a difference. But I was wrong. Love is the answer.
2. Discipline = freedom. This is a basic principle that took me too long to figure out. If you have the discipline to learn, you have the freedom to use knowledge. If you have the discipline to save money, you have the freedom to spend it. If you have the discipline to work out, you have the freedom to move your body.
3. You can change. There are two primary reasons why we do not change: (1) we believe the journey will be long and difficult and (2) we believe if we try, it won’t be worth it. But start as soon as possible. It is worth it… It is always worth it. You can be a new person at any moment. Your past “failures” do not mean you can succeed today. You can overcome whatever setbacks occurred as long as you are still breathing.
4. Use your life as a vessel to promote the change you want to see. I went from someone who was depressed to someone who embodied love. I want to become the person that inspires you to change as well. I want you to be able to read through my site, go through these articles, and decide you are capable of doing whatever you want to do.
5. Write. Accept life’s gifts. For too long, my parents/family/friends have told me, “You’re a great writer. You should really pursue that in some capacity.” I thought to myself, “They’re just being nice” and “There’s no money in writing.” But the truth is, I love writing. So why not do more of what you love, even if there’s no guarantee it will lead to future earnings?
6. A peaceful mind is worth more than anything. It turns out there’s a pretty simple way to gain a peaceful mind: meditation. I started meditating approximately nine months ago. At first, twenty minutes was difficult. Then, 30 minutes was difficult. Then, 60 minutes was difficult. But then 60 minutes was easy. Kind of like anything else. It’s a practice. You need to be disciplined. But the rewards are next level.
7. Do hard stuff. My life has been pretty easy all things considered. I grew up in the United States. I was put through a good education. I have A/C. Food. Et cetera. I don’t take these for granted. However, comfort should not be the goal. Because when we get too comfortable, our body and mind start to deteriorate. If you think it’s too easy, purposely make it more difficult. Go for a difficult run. Be consistent for an extended period of time. Challenge yourself daily.
8. Lift weights. I put off lifting weights because I was (am) naturally weak. But when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and just did the damn thing, I was happy with the results. Because it’s not about the external. It’s about the way lifting weights makes me feel and what it allows me to accomplish. Like all things worth doing, I wish I started sooner. So get after it.
9. Do yoga. I thought yoga was a feminine thing to do. This changed in the past year though. I went to one yoga class and immediately realized: “Wow, my mind and body feel so much better.” And, of course, that first class was difficult, but it was how my body was supposed to move. That was how my mind was supposed to relax. After one class, I was hooked. Releasing all that stress away from my body has been incredible. I have no idea how I existed in this world before doing yoga.
10. It’s your job to be a clear thinker. This is one decision that has impacted a bunch of decisions. Prioritizing becoming a clear thinker means you are more likely to take care of your body, your sleep, and your educational diet. It means you’re going to prioritize writing. It means you must make good decisions often. If it’s your goal to be a clear thinker, there are a number of decisions that have been made for you: A clear thinker exercises. A clear thinker reads. A clear thinker writes. A clear thinker doesn’t rely on alcohol.
11. Read. Some parts of my life I have read voraciously, others I have struggled to pick up a book over a period of years. Reading opens your mind to possibilities, widens your perspective, and lets travel through space and time to understand new wisdom. It is my preferred method of gaining knowledge and I recommend it for you as well.
12. Your phone is out to get you. I’ve grown up with the iPhone. But in the last couple of years, I’ve really noticed a drastic change in the way it makes me think and feel. When I read Digital Minimalism, it changed the way I viewed the phone. The device is designed to be as addicting as possible (and it’s why I’ll be starting an experiment for 1 hour of screen time for 30 days in the next week).
13. Cultivate present moment focus. This is hard. Especially when everything (and everyone) is vying for your attention. But it’s the most worthwhile skill you can have in the 21st century. How do you cultivate it? Meditation has been the path that has helped me – and continues to help me. To start to become aware of your thoughts is the single biggest helper to allowing yourself to become transfixed on the present moment.
14. Just because someone else is making money that way doesn’t mean you should. For a long time, I would hop from one business idea to the next. Someone had a great idea, I thought I should do that. Someone else suggested a new idea the following week… let me do that instead. I didn’t have a strong vision for what I wanted, so my monkey mind hopped from one idea to the next. As a result, I got nowhere fast. Until I had enough.
15. It’ll take twice as long as you think it will. Doesn’t matter if it’s a small errand or a big project. We have a bias toward thinking we can accomplish it quicker than we think it will take. But that’s okay. If it’s a worthwhile mission, the time it takes doesn’t matter. What will matter was that you started. So just do it.
16. Focus on what you can control. There is so much stuff out there we can’t control. The weather. How a stranger looked at you as you passed them. The stock market. But that’s okay because you have control so much. Your effort. Your willingness to show up. Your consistency. When your spotlight is on the internal – that which you can control – you have a huge advantage.
17. You are not your thoughts. We tend to get attached to the various opinions and thoughts we have. We tend to get attached to our own names and personalities. We tend to get attached to the various distractions as life floats by (shout out Mike Posner). The truth is: we’re not these thoughts. You are something much deeper, more beautiful. You are the awareness that you are these thoughts.
18. Consistency is a skill. The ability to show up day after day, even when it doesn’t work out for you, even when you don’t feel like it, even when all the signs are telling you not to… is a skill. And it’s one we overlook and don’t typically attempt to get better at. But we all can be more consistent. We can be more consistent in showing up for our loved ones or with our loved ones. Yes, it won’t necessarily be easy, but we can cultivate the skill.
19. Have a checklist for today (and put something “easy” on it). When you have a checklist or schedule, you are accountable to that list. If you don’t accomplish it, that’s okay. The list does not lie (as long as you don’t lie to yourself). But there is a power in checking off different items. It makes you feel accomplished and gives you a sense of empowerment over your day.
20. Accountability is seriously underrated. We do not want to change. But we will change if someone is watching us, monitoring us, and pushing us. Especially if we respect that person. So, if we desire to improve, we should take advantage of this as best as we can by identifying the people in our own lives who can help us and reach out to them. Ask if they’ll hold us accountable. So we can grow.
21. If you want to be something, just do it today. If you want to be a runner, run. If you want to be a writer, write. If you want to be an entrepreneur, sell. You’re only what you desire to be if you actually do it and the desire to do it is available for you at all times.
22. The little things are the big things. I realized this lesson when I did 75 HARD. Snapping a progress photo takes no more than 5 seconds. It counts just as much in the program as doing two workouts. The little thing is the big thing. This is just as true whether you are cleaning your room or taking out the trash. The little things are the big things.
23. The dots will only connect looking backward. We think we’ve got it all figured out, but so often we have no clue. It will all probably make sense, but at a later date. Don’t worry or try to make sense of it all right now, but it might make sense later.
24. Do your best. In everything you do, try your hardest. It seems like an obvious point… and yet, we so often leave progress on the table because we fail to give it our best shot. Whatever you do, do it with everything you’ve got.
25. Stay curious. You might have completed 25 trips around the sun, but you still know so little of what there is to know. The Dunning-Krueger Effect states that those who know a little often believe they know the most. Because I’ve experienced some life, it may lead me to believe I know it. I don’t. I really don’t know anything. But these are my experiences, my experiments, my notes on what I’m discovering. I hope they are of some use to you.

When Mike Posner met Ram Dass, he asked for advice.

Ram Dass told him:

“Love everything.”

I heard this about a year ago. Yet, I still think about it to this day. Because it is so profoundly simple and so true.

Even more, we’ve known it to be true ever since we were young. 

When you are a baby, if someone cradles you, you smile. If someone ignores you, you cry.

Are adults really that different?

If someone gives you love – a genuine compliment, a random act of kindness, a smile – you smile. If someone imposes fear – a dirty look, a middle finger, an irate boss – your heart shrinks. The problem is that as we get older, we put on a mask to hide our emotions.

The Mask

As the young infant grows to be teenager or adult, he puts up a mask to hide his true nature.

It can be a cold world out there. So in order to deal with this reality, we create a persona. This is a false image of who we actually are. It’s a mask.

This mask can get us into trouble.

The classic example is the bully in school.

He appears to be a big tough guy, but that’s just because he’s hiding something deeper beneath the surface. He’s put on a mask. It could be that his dad bullies him. It could be that he wasn’t shown love as a child. It could be that he feels inferior. So the bully takes it out on others, by trying to collect lunch money or starting fights.

But how does the story always go?

Someone stands up to the bully, and the bully starts to cry. 

What is that crying really? 

It’s the shedding of his mask.

But it’s not just the bully who has put on a mask. 

We all put on masks. It starts with the conditioning, “you’re not good enough, you need to have this, that, and the other to be successful. Then you can feel good.”

But what most people realize is that they get these things…

And they don’t feel good at all. It’s the greatest lie of all time.

Mike Posner realized this when he said: “I worked the last ten years. I’m a multimillionaire. I’m thirty years old, it’s supposed to all be good. It’s not fucking all good. Fuck!”

When you are rude to someone, you’re putting on a mask. When you like an Instagram photo and you don’t actually like it, you’re putting on a mask. When you say “I love you” and you don’t mean it, you’re putting on a mask.

Because the Mask is the opposite of love.

What Does The Mask Represent?

The mask is fear.

Fear can be expressed with hate, envy, anger, sadness, or depression.

• When you compare yourself to others, you are living in fear. “I’m not good enough!”
• When you hate someone else, you are living in fear. “I hate this person!”
• When you hate yourself, you are living in fear. “I hate myself!”

We put on the mask to hide our fear. That’s what the bully is doing on the playground. And that’s what the bully in real life might be doing in the boardroom as well.

How To Take The Mask Off

You take off the mask by embodying love.

Not saying “I love you” or wanting someone to love you. 

Just being love.

It’s a practice.

• Watch your mind think for any period of time
• Take a person you intensely disagree with and send them love
• Do a random act of kindness
• Repeat “I love you” in your head to each person you pass

Here’s how Ram Dass practiced embodying love: 

One way I practice doing so is by placing a photograph of a politician with whom I intensely disagree on my puja table – my altar. Each morning when I wake up, I say good morning to the Buddha, to my guru, and to the other holy beings there. But I find that it’s with a different spirit that I say, “Hello Mr. Politician.” I know it sounds like a funny thing to do, but it reminds me of how far I have to go to see the Beloved in everybody.

Something funny happens when you embody love…

Other people’s masks come off. Because the mask is a way for other people to protect themselves, they no longer feel like they have to be a particular way. They are free to express themselves as their true selves.

So try it out?

Embody love. See what happens.

Feel free to send me an email at my email at this domain with your experience.

Love,

Danny

“What Is 75 HARD? What is the Live Hard Program? What Is Phase 1? What is Phase 2? What is Phase 3?”

What is the Live Hard Program?

The Live Hard Program is a four part program. 

The first step is 75 HARD. The next step is Phase 1, followed by Phase 2, and, finally, Phase 3. The Live Hard program is to be completed in one calendar year.

What is 75 HARD?

75 HARD is simple.

Do the following 75 straight days:

• Take a progress photo
• Two 45 minute workouts – one outside. Workouts do not have to be back-to-back.
• Drink one gallon of water
• Read 10 pages – non-fiction/self-help book. No audiobooks.
• Choose a diet – ZERO alcohol/soft drinks/cheat meals

If you don’t complete all five in a day, you go back to Day 1.

75 HARD is the first part of the Live Hard Program.

After 75 HARD is complete, you can move on to Phase 1.

What Is Phase 1?

Phase 1 is to be completed after you’ve completed 75HARD.

In Phase 1, you do all the tasks you did during 75HARD plus three more for 30 days. So here’s what you is expected of you in Phase 1:

• Take a progress photo
• Workout twice/day (once outside)
• Drink one gallon of water
• Read 10 pages (of a non-fiction/self-help book)
• Choose a diet (no alcohol/soft drinks/cheat meals)
• Add three items to your Power List (eight total)
• Take a five minute cold shower
• Do ten minutes of visualization

You do not need to do Phase 1 the day after completing 75HARD.

What is Phase 2?

You must wait 30 days after completing Phase 1 in order to do Phase 2. 

Phase 2 is made up of the same components of 75HARD:

• Take a progress photo
• Workout twice/day (once outside)
• Drink one gallon of water
• Read 10 pages (of a non-fiction/self-help book)
• Choose a diet (no alcohol/soft drinks/cheat meals)

What is Phase 3?

Phase 3 is to be started on the final 30 days of the year you started 75HARD. 

For example, if you started 75HARD on September 18, 2019, you have to start your Phase 3 on August 18, 2020.

• Take a progress photo
• Workout twice/day (once outside)
• Drink one gallon of water
• Read 10 pages (of a non-fiction/self-help book)
• Choose a diet (no alcohol/soft drinks/cheat meals)
• Add three items to your Power List (to have a total of eight)
• Take a five minute cold shower (really cold)
• Do ten minutes of visualization
• One random act of kindness (must be journaled)
• Talk to a stranger

“Random acts of kindness” include donating, volunteering, paying for a stranger’s meal, picking up groceries for someone in need. Each random act of kindness must be journaled.

“Talk to a stranger” means it must be done in person and it must be more than just a greeting. The following do not count: a compliment, a hello, or a head nod. Interacting with someone on social media does not count. The goal is to at least be able to learn something small from a stranger.

FAQ

Who created the Live Hard Program?

Andy Frisella is the owner of 1st Phorm, a nine-figure supplement company. He’s the host of two popular podcasts – the MFCEO Project and Real AF. 

He created the Live Hard Program (and 75 HARD, specifically) when he had 75 days left on a weight-loss bet. His goal was not to make money with the program, but to help people change their life and cultivate mental toughness/discipline.

Andy created the program and all of the rules.

One thing Andy notes is not to change anything. Everything is intentional. Just follow the program exactly as it is outlined.

This seems like it would be really hard and unnecessary. Why bother?

In order to get into excellent shape, you don’t need to work out twice a day. You don’t need to eat a perfect diet. But this isn’t about getting into excellent shape. This is about challenging yourself mentally. This is about winning a war with yourself. (I learned more about myself from 75 HARD than anything else in my entire life.)

Who will know if I completed the tasks?

Nobody. But you will and that’s all that counts.

Are audiobooks allowed for reading?

No.

What if you finish all the tasks after midnight?

That’s okay. You have until you go to bed to complete the activities.